


Patrick Kane Is Completely Fine

by JocelynBarro



Category: Men's Hockey RPF
Genre: Alpha commands, Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Alpha/omega power imbalances that are accepted in society, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Dubious Consent, M/M, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Misunderstandings, Nesting, Nonconsensual scenting and scent marking, Pack Dynamics, Pack Law, Possessive Behavior, Power Imbalance, Sex Toys, Soulmates, Werewolves, hormone issues, mentions of abuse, mentions of mpreg, mentions of punishment, poor communication, sexist and offensive language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-29
Updated: 2020-08-05
Packaged: 2021-02-26 19:06:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 15,609
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23903161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JocelynBarro/pseuds/JocelynBarro
Summary: Pat and Matt meet at the All-Star Game and realize they're soulmates. Pat's convinced that there's nothing worse than people figuring out he'd an omega in a world where almost all omegas are treated horribly. Matt was born human and is still trying to figure out this werewolf shit after being bitten at sixteen.~~~Or, Pat's especially volatile, but Matt's especially tolerant, and honestly, he's mostly just confused.
Relationships: Mathew Barzal/Patrick Kane
Comments: 15
Kudos: 60





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story occurs in a universe where alphas and omegas are inherently thought to be unequal & there's a lot of legal rights alphas have to omegas that are unfair and controlling (ie omegas need alphas to sign off on them getting birth control). This isn't condoned, but it's a large plot point. If the idea of this is upsetting for you, please don't read this!

The weather in St. Louis in March was considerably warmer than Chicago, but that was hardly a surprise to Patrick. He arrived in Missouri late the night before the All-Star game and, exhausted from his flight, he went straight to his hotel. 

Johnny told him that his own flight got in in the early afternoon and to text him if he wanted to meet up with him any of the guys from Team Canada, but Patrick instead sent a quick apology and went straight up to his room. He opened up his suitcase, pulled out and hung his suit up for the next day and swiftly got ready for bed. 

His phone pinged with a message from Johnny, but he ignored it. He rolled back and forth on his sheets, trying to make his brain settle. Patrick had attended almost every All-Star game since 2005 and every year he felt the same pressing anxiety. He loved this event; he loved feeling like the fans loved him enough to want him there. But this many players in one place upped his chances of someone figuring out his secret. 

Well, it wasn’t like being a wolf was a secret per se. Approximately 2% of the population was, and an even greater number of players in the NHL were. There wasn’t anything wrong with being a wolf. Hell, Patrick’s whole family was made up of wolves. He grew up knowing he would be one; he’d been excited to present, ready for the wolf to give him an edge up on the ice. His mom told him that was absurd and that the wolf wouldn’t help at all – after all, humans and wolves were allowed to compete on the ice. There was no way that human players would put up with that if they were playing at a disadvantage. Patrick didn’t care. He was elated when he woke up at fifteen, head fuzzy and fever throbbing. 

“Those are signs of presenting, right?” he asked his mother.

“Yeah, sweetie, but not usually for a beta.” She looked nervous, but she still smiled at him. 

Patrick was sure he would be a beta. He was too small to really stand a chance of being an alpha (though he hoped to be). He was excited anyway, ready to see his wolf form and chase his friends who had already presented. 

Four hours later and his fever wasn’t going away and his core ached. He felt sick. Not physically, but he knew what was happening and it made him sick.  
“Mama…” he whispered. She sat on the edge of his bed next to him. 

“Yeah, Patty?”

“I’m not a beta, am I?” His voice cracked.

“No.” There was nothing more to say.

“I can’t play hockey.” 

“We’ll think of something.”

Wolves came in and out of society for the last few millennium, occasionally showing their existence to humans, usually with dire results. This last emergence occurred in the 1970s. An televangelist kidnapped a young wolf in Kentucky, forcing her to turn on national television and proclaiming to cast out the 'devil' inside her by forcing her to return to her human form. Surprisingly, humans reacted with horror towards the preacher instead of the girl. 

Several wolves in public positions - a couple CEOs, three major league hockey players, and even two senators - stepped forward to reveal themselves to the world. It was the first time wolves had revealed themselves without incurring bloodshed. 

Still, all wolves were required to register with the federal government, which Patrick thought was wildly offensive, but it wasn’t like it was that information was publicized. There was growing concern from some parts of the country about wolves turning humans, which made them want to regulate those that were born with the ability to shift forms. In actuality, turning a human was exceptionally rare in modern day, but the government tried to monitor it as well. It was technically illegal, though that had not completely eliminated the practice. 

Patrick was registered as a wolf at birth, and while presentation wasn’t required to be added to his government profile, any NHL scout worth their salt would ask about it. Or worse, they would be a wolf themselves and be able to smell him. Teams had shifted in the past years to using humans to scout other humans and wolves for other wolves, a practice Patrick cursed in that moment. Gender rights had come a long way in the past hundred years for humans. 

Sure, women’s sports weren’t watched on the level that men’s were, and God knows they weren't paid like male athletes, but they were allowed to play. Wolves had progressed much slower than humans. 

While wolves had two genders – man and woman - like humans, they had three dynamics. Alpha, beta, and omega. Alphas – the natural-born leaders, heads of packs, politicians, CEOs, all that jazz. Betas – the supportive, team-oriented, hard working. Strong second-in-commands and supporters of alphas. Omegas – the child bearers. Expected to obey their alphas; to open their legs and shut their mouths. For wolves, gender mattered far less than dynamics. 

And, contrary to gains that human women had seen in the past decades, wolves really didn't step outside their dynamics expectations. It was rare to see a beta run a company or an omega hold a job. 

Patrick’s mother was an omega. And she’d been a wonderful mother, he would never say anything else. But she’d married at nineteen, never worked a day after she was pupped, and had four children. 

He couldn’t imagine anything worse. All he’d ever wanted to play hockey. He wanted to win a few Stanley Cups, a few more, and then, well, he didn’t know about after that. Patrick hated how few wolves broke outside of their dynamic’s mold. 

Human women were perfectly capable leaders, CEOs, sports players, for God’s sake. Why couldn’t omegas be the same? Omegas don’t play professional sports. So, to live his dream and play hockey, he couldn’t be an omega. 

Donna and Patrick Kane Sr. were members of a large pack in Buffalo of thirty wolves. The couple had joined the pack after they married and planned for the pack community to help their children grow up happy and having positive relationships with their wolf-self. 

This close community backfired dramatically when Donna realized that her son was an omega. Pack law dictated that the Kanes needed to announce Patrick’s designation to the pack alpha, but they hid his omega status. 

Pat skipped pack runs, claiming sickness, homework, or hockey and slowly pushed himself further and further from the community he grew up in. Donna convinced Patrick to purchase scent suppressors for their son and she drove him to a doctor two hours away to get heat suppressants and birth control, far from the prying eyes of anyone else in their pack. 

Somehow, he’d pulled it off. Pat Brisson, his agent, had probably had a big role in that. He’d informed any team that inquired Pat was a beta wolf and he would answer absolutely no questions about it. 

Luckily, no scout had sniffed at him enough to realize that the under the non-scent that the suppressors put out, he didn’t really smell like a beta and no one on the Blackhawks – well, one person had figured it out.  
No one in the NHL had outed him though. Every once in a while, when he got checked roughly into the boards or another wolf got in his face on the ice he could see a flicker of something on their face.  
Pat couldn’t smell himself, but his sister Erica had once said his smell was kind of like watered down beer. At first, you couldn’t tell it was anything other than water. As you got closer, something seemed off. If inhaled directly from his skin – something he’d never let anyone outside his family do – you could smell that he was a wolf. Even then, Erica promised it was hard to tell that he was an omega. 

Any wolf that figured it out would just figure he was an exceptionally self-loathing beta. He’d convinced management that he was ashamed of being a wolf and they hadn’t made his situation public to the media or to the team. 

Not even Johnny knew. It wasn’t uncommon for wolves to hide their status in sports. It was uncommon for them to hide from other wolves.  
Patrick groaned and threw his head back into his pillows. His instincts were always a mess in unfamiliar hotel rooms. He longed for his condo and his nest back in Chicago. Throughout the season, he slowly stole clothing articles from team members for his nest. 

In a traditional pack, people would give him scented clothing willingly. In Chicago, Patrick had to get creative. Johnny was usually pretty forgiving with him stealing clothing, so he had a large amount of #19 sweatshirts and jackets carefully folded into the blankets on his bed. 

Most of his other trophies were hard won. Pat became an expert at subtly snatching towels and sweatpants out of teammates duffel bags when they weren’t looking. It was much easier when he roomed with other people on the road, but he hit his 500 game mark years ago earning himself his own room and he made do. 

Patrick always made sure to be extra careful taking things from the two wolves on the team – Alex DeBrincat and Dylan Strome. As wolves they would likely realize someone was nesting if too much of their clothes disappeared. Worse, they would know a teammate was an omega, as betas and alphas didn’t nest. The clothes he managed to separate from them were always hard won. 

It sucked because, as wolves, their clothes were also some of the most comforting ones he could get his hands on. Pat sighed and got up. He walked over to his suitcase and shuffled through it, looking for the clothes he’d taken from his nest for the trip. He pulled out one of Johnny’s plain hoodies and one of Stromer’s Coyotes sweatshirts. 

Pat told himself that Dylan wouldn’t even miss this one – it’s not like Arizona was full of good memories for the beta. He walked back to the bed and sat down on the edge to wrap himself in his teammate’s clothes. The tittering in his brain calmed slightly and he felt himself starting to drift off. He just had to get through this weekend and then he could get back to the safety and warmth of his nest in Chicago. 

~~~ 

Mathew Barzal arrived in St. Louis jittery and excited. It was his second All-Star Weekend, but he felt just as overwhelmed as the first time. John Tavares, before he’d left for Toronto, had promised him that the impostor syndrome went away after the first year, but Matt felt exactly the same as he had the year before. Plus, he was competing in everyone’s least favorite competition, the Fastest Skater. He was going up against the Connor McDavid. 

Matt pulled out his phone and texted John again. His old teammate had promised to meet him the night before everything started to introduce him to a couple of his new Leaf teammates. There were a bunch of Leafs at this event, so Matt was hoping to make a couple quick acquaintances before everything went too crazy tomorrow. His phone buzzed. John sent him the name of a bar downtown and told him that he was already there. 

Matt opened up Uber to call a car. This weekend was going to be something special.


	2. Chapter 2

Pat got up early. He still felt restless, despite giving into his urge to nest in the hotel. He figured if he arrived early at the All-Star Game he could get away with not spending too much time on the carpet interviewing. He shot a text off to Johnny, knowing his captain would be dead to the world. Johnny was nothing if not not-a-morning-person. 

Pat got ready, slicked back his hair, and put on his suit. He packed his bag and shouldered it. It was only ten in the morning, but he knew that if he made it to the stadium soon, he could avoid breakfast with Johnny’s Team Canada friends. 

Pat checked his phone one last time and then headed for the door. He walked past the breakfast buffet downstairs, grabbing a sandwich with egg and bacon. He munched on it, but it felt too heavy. He threw it away in the trashcan outside the hotel with only two bites taken out of it. It tasted gross.

Pat waved at one of the taxi drivers waiting outside the hotel. “I’ll add an extra twenty if you take me to a place with decent coffee before the stadium,” Patrick promised. The driver took him to a decent, cheap place that also offered fresh fruit cups. Pat got one, but regretted it on the drive. It tasted weird and he also spat out the melon in his mouth. He managed to swallow, but he put the cup down after that. 

“Everything alright, sir?” the taxi driver asked, very attentive after the promise of a nice tip. 

“Yeah,” Pat said, even though it didn’t feel right. “Everything’s fine.”

Pat arrived at the stadium and the line to enter was blissfully short. He took a deep breath and stepped out of the taxi. He tossed a fifty back at the driver.

“Do you need change?”

“No, it’s fine,” Pat replied, downing his coffee and tossing the cup into a nearby trashcan. One of the NHL underlings (Pat assumed) approached him. 

“Can I take your bag in for you, Mr. Kane?” the pimply-faced kid asked. He reached for it without waiting for Pat to respond. 

“Sure,” Pat said, shifting the strap onto the kid’s shoulder. He knew he would get shit from his agent if he tried to carry it onto the red carpet. 

Pat stepped onto the red carpet, and even though he’d come early, he was inundated with interviewers. 

“Patrick! Over here!”

“Kaner!” How dare they call him that. “Tell us about how you and Johnny are going to turn the Blackhawks around from the lowest ranking Central division team into playoff contenders.” Okay, fucking rude.

Pat ignored all the interviewers except a small kid wearing glasses, standing directly on the red carpet. 

“Hey, little man,” he said, smile wide. 

“Patrick Kane!” the boy smiles up at him, more composed that most reporters. 

“Do you have a question for me?” 

“What’s your pump-up song?”

“Pump-up song? Like before a game?” Pat thought for a moment. “Can’t Hold Us, Macklemore. I love that guy.”

“Yeah?” the kid looked excited. 

“Yeah, have you heard Macklemore?”

“No, can you sing that song for me?” the kid’s eyes glistened and Pat realized he’d been set up. Very clever, he thought. 

“Um, it’s like… return of the Mack', get up, what it is, what it does, what it is, what it isn't, looking for a better way to get up out of bed…” he flushed and stopped.

“Thank you, Pat Kane!” the kid bubbled, and Pat felt less embarrassed. 

He entered the stadium and was directed into one of the two locker rooms. He saw Pietrangelo and McKinnon, who would both be on his team for the West vs. East event at the end of the weekend and he waved. McKinnon looked excited and slid towards him.

“Hey Kaner,” he said, excitedly. “Glad to be on the same team for once!” Patrick almost responded, but McKinnon was already heading off to talk to McDavid and his German teammate that Pat could never remember the name of. 

Pat kept a wide birth and pulled on a jersey. He was competing in the hardest shot competition, which meant he didn’t have to put on skates, but his pride was still on the line. He was an incredible shot and he needed to show he was still on top to all the younger players at this event. 

“Hey, man,” Johnny appeared next to him, his face gentle. “Made it here real early, huh?”

“Yeah, didn’t want to talk to the press.” Pat spared a smile for him. Johnny had always been exceptionally kind to him. 

“What are you competing in?” McDavid sidled up to the two of them. Pat wanted to bristle and tell him to fuck off, but he could smell McDavid’s underlying wolf-scent. He certainly didn’t want to give the guy reason to sniff around and get too close to Pat. 

“Hardest shot.” 

“Cool,” McDavid smiled. He looked like he was about to ask Johnny the same question when TJ Oshie appeared in the dressing room. 

“You fucker,” Johnny said, laughing as he hugged the other man. “Trying to spy on the enemy?” He hugged TJ close.

TJ was one of the few omegas in the league. Johnny and TJ had gone to college together for a couple years before coming to the NHL. Pat had always wanted to encourage Johnny to be careful how he touched TJ, but then again, he was human, he didn’t understand the implication of grabbing an omega by the back of the neck.

“I think you should go,” Pat said to TJ, trying not to be unkind, while still maintaining a healthy distance. He didn’t want TJ to get close enough to scent him.

“Yeah, yeah,” TJ said. He looked a little hurt, but he was great at hiding it. “I’ll just fuck off.”

“See you later, eh?” Johnny asked, and TJ smiled. Pat wanted to chastise Johnny and tell him he shouldn’t say such things to an omega wolf, but then the inevitable question would come – how did he know that TJ was an omega?

“Pat Kane!” one of the NHL lackeys called out again. “Time for the hardest shot competition. I’ll walk you up to the rafters.”

Rafters? Pat thought. Maybe I should have fucking practiced for this competition. 

~~~

Matt Barzal arrived late to his second All-Star Game, which was absurdly embarrassing. Kris Letang was captaining his division, and the man looked exceptionally put out by Matt’s appearance. 

“Thanks for coming,” he hissed at Matt when no one was paying attention, and Matt sent him an apologetic look. 

In all honesty, he truly was sorry. It was only his second All-Star Game appearance, he had no right to be appearing late and disgruntled like a self-righteous Wayne Gretzy. In truth, he had overslept. It was a bad habit he had that wasn’t a problem while he was living in his teammate, Seidenberg’s basement, but when he was left alone he was embarrassingly unprepared. 

“Sorry,” he apologized with a bashful smile, and Kris let it go. Most people let the shit alphas pulled go, to be fair. 

“You’re competing in the fastest skater competition?” Jack Eichel, captain of the Buffalo Sabres asked.

“Yeah, I think it’ll be interesting.” Matt knew Eichel was also competing and wasn’t sure how the other man felt about that. 

Eichel laughed, which Matt didn’t take as an affirmation that everything was okay. Eichel was a very vindictive man. “Good luck, man. I want one of us to take McDavid’s crown.” 

Matt nodded, even though Eichel looked like the only person he wanted to take McDavid’s metaphorical crown was himself. 

“Barzal!” one of the NHL staffers called. “Eichel! Time for the fastest skater.”

Oh shit, Matt thought, when he saw Eichel’s face. Maybe I should lose on purpose. 

Matt probably should have lost on purpose. Eichel, McKinnon, and Kreider were shooting him death glares when he finished as 2020’s fastest skater, upsetting McDavid’s three year reign. 

“Congrats, man!” McDavid was the first person to congratulate Matt, which felt wrong. The captain looked genuine though. “You’re really fast, dude,” he added, “I’m excited that we’re part of the next generation. I look forward to competing against you,” McDavid gave Matt a fist bump before disappearing into the crowd. 

Letang was next to Matt in an instant after McDavid left. “Okay, maybe you’re an oversleeper, but I could be convinced to be on a line with you for the final competition.”

Matt smiled at him and headed for the locker room. 

He took a deep breath, and suddenly a scent caught him. It was enticing and sweet, like nothing he’d ever smelled before. Matt smacked himself in the head. He needed to get control. Being a wolf didn’t mean that he got to track down anything that smelled remotely good to him. God, he’d learned that with a couple random hook-ups in the last few years in Long Island – just because someone smells good, doesn’t mean they’re good for you. Matt was especially at a disadvantage because he’d been born human. He’d been bitten by a rogue wolf who’d been put down by the local pack afterwards, but he wasn’t born into this wolf thing. He knew scents affected him more than the regular wolf. Still, the scne the smelled was too tempting. He followed it into the western conference changing room. 

“Hello?” he called out. Pretty much every player should be in the stadium now; he couldn’t imagine who was still in here besides support staff. Fuck, he wasn’t supposed to be in here.

Matt’s nose led him further into the changing room. “Hello?” he called out again, quieter this time. Whoever was here had certainly heard him the first time. 

He turned a corner and saw an unexpected sight – Patrick Kane. 

“Patrick Kane?” he asked, certainly sounding stupid. What was the man doing here?

“Obviously,” the other man snipped, “what are you doing in here? I don’t know your name, but you smell like Eastern Conference to me.”

Matt growled lightly under his breath. He was certain that Patrick knew who he was and was simply trying to get under his skin, but it still rubbed his wolf the wrong way. 

“You smell…” Matt didn’t want to make it weird, but Patrick Kane smelled amazing. He got closer. Patrick started to back up, towards the locker. 

“Get away from me,” Pat said, but without venom. 

“Are we…” Matt shoved Pat again the lockers. He smelled good. No, he smelled amazing. Like home, and snickerdoodle cookies, and winter in Vancouver. Fuck, he could carry his face in Patrick’s neck for the rest of his life and it would be perfect.

“Get away,” Pat hissed again.

“Are we mates?” Matt asked, forcing himself to take a step back and trying to appear as non-threatening as possible. 

“Get away,” Pat said.

Matt took a step forward, pressing Patrick into the lockers, and at that moment Nate McKinnon entered the locker room.

“What are you – ” Nate paused and Matt sniffed at him for a moment until he realized that Nate, too, was a wolf. “Oh my God, are you two mates?” Nate sniffed the air again. “I didn’t know Pat was a wolf!”

“I’m not,” Pat protested, and both Nate and Matt gave him scathing looks. 

“I think we are,” Matt replied to Nate, scenting Pat’s neck one more time. Pat smelled exactly like people had described his mate would. He took another inhale. He could get drunk off Pat’s scent, easily. 

“Stop it,” Pat begged, pushing back against Matt’s chest, and to his surprise, the alpha stepped back. 

“Okay, I’m sorry.” Matt picked up Pat’s hand and gently kissed it. Pat yanked it back and Matt tried to cover up his reaction to that. “I think we should talk about this more.”

“I have nothing to say to you,” Pat hissed, pushing Matt further from him. The alpha looked hurt. 

“Pat, we can’t avoid this forever, mates are bound to each other –”

“Cut the crap,” Pat hissed at him. “We’re not fucking bound or any of that bullshit. You just like how some random beta smells and need to learn to back off.”

Matt laughed lightly, like he thought Pat was joking. When Pat didn’t reply, his face changed. “Pat, I can smell you’re an omega.”

Patrick Kane’s whole life ended in that moment. 

There was a lot of screaming, entirely done Pat and Matt’s agents. Matt just watched Pat quietly, a devastated look on his face. Pat refused to take responsibility for it. He owed nothing to Matt, even if they were mates, he didn’t owe it to Matt to want him. 

Pat’s agent was furious – he hadn’t known that Pat was an omega. It threw a lot of things under contention – as an omega, he wasn’t able to sign a hockey contract himself, fuck, he wasn’t able to sign any contract himself. 

Matt signed a waiver so that Pat could finished out the rest of the season. It felt rough, awkward. Pat’s whole team wasn’t talking to him. Johnny wouldn’t even make eye contact with him. The season ended with them in last place in the central division and it hurt. None of the guys went out after the last game of the season. Pat lay alone in bed, mourning 2020 himself. 

Pat’s phone buzzed. He picked it up. There was a message from an unknown number. “Hey Pat, hope you’re okay. I wanted you to know become it becomes public – I signed with the Blackhawks. I’m moving to Chicago in a couple weeks. I’d love to see you.” 

Patrick huffed and deleted the text. Matt Barzal could go fuck himself. He didn’t need a fucking alpha. He certainly didn’t need him pity-signing with Pat’s team to get close to him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know your thoughts! I have a direct for this, but I'd like to hear your ideas always.


	3. Chapter 3

Pat can sense Matt in the city. He knows he sounds crazy, but bonds as strong as the one between them – where they literally saw each other once and recognized that they were mates – can be that intense. Matt’s been in Chicago for two weeks now. It’s well into June, and Pat should be headed back to Buffalo for a long summer and some well-deserved relaxation, but he can’t force himself to leave. Alphas and omegas aren’t meant to be separated for as long as he and Matt have been, and even something simple as being in the same city is helping.

In the meantime, Matt’s given him space and hasn’t contacted him. Until now.

_Hey, I’d love to talk._

Pat stares at his phone. The text is an unassumingly simple one, but Pat knows what’s behind it. Matt had been more accommodating than he needed to be when he found out Pat was his omega, signing permissions for him to keep playing and keep his house without a second look. But Matt could feel him, somewhere in Chicago, hiding from his alpha. It had to bother him.

He supposed he could ignore him again. He’d ignored the last text. But the last couple months had been awful. Everyone knew that being apart was harder for an omega than an alpha, but Pat had still refused Matt’s offer of clothing and scented objects before the two split up in Missouri. He’d struggled personally, but beyond that Pat’s team he’d struggled in all his relationships. His team had barely spoken to him. Johnny wouldn’t make eye contact with him, Stromer and DeBrinecat – the two other wolves on the team – glared at him every chance they could, and the other humans didn’t know what to say.

It’d been a rough close-of-season.

Pat stared at his phone again. His fingers lingered over Matt’s text. He wanted to respond.

Pat hissed under his breath. _I don’t know if you’re still in Chicago,_ he started – it was a lie. He could sense Matt’s comforting presence across town. _This is my address, come over whenever._

~~~

Matt arrived less than two hours later to Pat’s high-rise. It was awkward from the second he walked in the front door. Pat felt the urge to bare his neck and fall to his knees, to beg the alpha to forgive him for making him wait to long, but instead he averted his eyes and glowered at the floor.

“Sorry I, uh, didn’t reply before. Everything was hectic.” It was a weak excuse, but Matt accepted it. Pat felt himself calming and relaxing from having the alpha in his home. His den¸ the omega inside him reminded him.

“Yeah, I totally hear you.” The alpha lingered in the front doorway longer than Pat expected before Pat realized he was waiting for an invitation. Pat had invited him over, but he hadn’t invited him in. It was different. Yet Pat had never had an alpha wait for his invitation to this degree.

“You can come in,” he said.

Matt smiled. He was too handsome, Pat decided. “Thanks.”

Matt sat cautiously in a bar chair at Pat’s island. He was trying not to get comfortable or scent the room, which involved a large amount of mouth breathing. There was a pause before Matt asked, “is there anything else you need me to sign?”

“What?” Pat was caught off guard.

Matt flushed and it hit Pat again just how young the alpha was. “Like – documentation or anything,” he rushed. “I know omegas sometimes need alphas to sign off on birth control or on owning homes. Is there anything else you need?”

Pat definitely did need Matt to sign off on his birth control, now that he was outed and unless he wanted to keep buying it from an illegal and sketchy source. He hadn’t anticipated Matt offering to sign anything so willingly though.

“Yeah, I have paperwork.” Matt nodded eagerly, so Pat went to grab it before the alpha changed his mind.

He slid the papers towards Matt. “Just here, and –” But Matt was signing the papers without even a glance. Didn’t he even want to read this shit? Pat thought.

“Anything else?” Matt slid the papers back towards him.

“I guess not.” There was a heavy pause.

Matt spoke first. He was chewing his lip nervously. Pat glanced down at where he was worrying it. It was concerningly red. “How do you need this to work?” he asked. “Our relationship. Look – I know that you weren’t out with your team, and I’m really sorry I pushed you into it.” He hadn’t really, Pat thought. Sure, Matt had gotten into his space and nudged him into the wall, but it was the other wolves at the All-Star Game that reported their scent, not Matt. “I’m sorry that a lot of things got jeopardized because people didn’t know you were an omega and I outed you,” Matt continued, “but we’re also mates, and I hope you understand that I came to Chicago for you. I want us to make this work however we can.”

Pat looked at Matt for once. The alpha was exceptionally young – only twenty-two to Pat’s over-thirty. He wanted to be compassionate. He did, but – but it wasn’t fair. He never wanted to be outed to his team, to the management, to the fans, to anyone. And Matt just marched into that locker room and accidently forced him to reveal his secrets and here he was, not one person on his team willing to look at him, let alone speak to him.

“I don’t want you,” Pat hissed, more venom in his voice than he intended. “I won’t ever want you. You don’t get to act like you’re such a good guy just because you’re not forcing me to have sex and chaining me to a bed. I don’t want us, and I never will.”

Matt looked pained, but he quickly averted his eyes. “Okay,” he said softly.

There was another pause between the two.

“Was there anything else you wanted to discuss?” Matt was eyeing the door.

“Yeah, I need you to be able to control yourself in front of the team.” Pat said. He knew Matt was going to bristle up at that, but he needed things to be normal with his teammates, and he needed the stress between them all to abide.

“Uhhh, sure?” Matt looked confused and a little offended. “I’ve never gone off on a teammate because of wolf stuff before – unless he was being offensive, but no one’s done that since juniors – so I think that’ll be fine.”

“So, if they pat me on the back or chirp me, you’ll be okay?” Pat must have sounded more antagonistic than he intended because Matt looked extremely offended.

“Somehow I’ll make it,” he hissed, and it was the most upset Pat had seen him.

“Okay, then I think that’s everything.”

Matt looked like he wanted to talk about more, maybe ask more, but he bit his overly abused lips and stood. “I’ll go,” he said.

“You don’t have to,” Pat said, but he knew he didn’t sound genuine.

Matt reached out for him gently, rubbing his fingers up the side of the omega’s face. “I know you want me to. You have to tell me, though, if you need something from me.” Pat shuddered under the weight of the alpha command. It was the first one Matt had given to him.

“Hey, breathe,” Matt whispered, rubbing his fingers against his face again. “Tell me if you need me.” The command rippled through Pat again, and he nodded wordlessly.

“Great,” the alpha said. “I’m going to stay in Chicago a month or so more, and then I’m going to Vancouver for a while. Save my number.” This time it wasn’t a command, but Pat knew he needed to. Matt was out the door before he could give him a real answer after that.

“Goodbye, Pat,” and with that, his alpha was gone.

~~~

Pat gave himself to recuperate after his encounter with Mat. He knew he seemed childish for needing it, the alpha certainly hadn’t done anything untoward to him, but he still felt a rush of pressure and expectations.

Matt didn’t contact him again, and Pat was extremely grateful. In fact, he didn’t see the alpha again until two weeks later.

Pat had checked with the rink manager at the Verizon Stadium that the ice was free because he wanted some time alone. It’d been a while since he’d been to the stadium. He changed quickly in the locker room and went out to the ice. Someone was already there.

Pat watched Matt for a couple minutes before he made the alpha aware of him. Matt was a great shot – a right-sided power shot, straight into the net. But Matt wasn’t practicing his right-side shot, he was trying out his left, and he was struggling.

“Hey,” Pat glided out onto the ice, trying to make a little more noise than usual so that Matt noticed him. The alpha looked a little displeased to see him and Pat realized this wasn’t some weird ploy where Matt stalked him to figure out where he was going next so they could coincidently ‘meet’. The alpha was actually a little displeased. That just makes Pat more excited to be there.

“Hey,” Matt replied.

“You’re overshooting on the left,” Pat says, trying to be helpful.

Matt looks up, surprised. Matt’s a righty and he shoots to the right, but Pat’s advantage has always been that he’s different – he’s a righty that shoots to the left. That’s how he’s able to put up so many points; goalies can never tell what side he’s shooting at.

“Here, like,” Pat nudges one of Mat’s pucks onto his stick to show the alpha how to shoot from your nondominant side. “You have to undershoot, you know? Look at a spot to the left of the left pole and go for that. Your coordination’s always off on your nondominant side, so you have to know what to do instead of thinking about it.” He pushes a puck to Mat.

The alpha tries it like he described a few times and it works three out of four times. “Thanks,” Matt says, his smile wide and genuine.

“Yeah, any time,” Pat says and Matt steals the puck off his stick. Oh, no fucking way.

Pat lunges for him, but Matt pulls it back. “You’re going to have to try harder than that,” Matt laughs, pulling it away again.

The thought that he’s going against his alpha brushes through Pat’s brain, but he pushes it away. “That puck is mine,” he hisses, his competitive spirit surfacing.

Matt skated backwards away from Pat, “guess you’re going to have to come get it,” he smirked. Fuck, Pat was going to kill the smug bastard.

Pat skated towards him, taking a direct approach towards the puck before swinging to the left and taking the puck straight off Matt’s stick. He slammed the puck into the opposite goal and did a victory dance, just to gloat.

Matt laughed, good naturedly. “Best of three?” he asked.

Pat and Matt spent over three more hours trying to best each other on the ice. Pat won, but not by the landslide that he’d expected. Matt Barzal was a good player, and Pat was excited to see what he pull off in a couple years.

“I have to run,” Matt said later, sounded genuinely disappointed. “I promised a couple friends I’d meet up with them.”

“Yeah, of course,” Pat said, even as his omega begged for his alpha to stay.

“I – ” Matt looked a little resistant, but he continued. “It’s a couple Blackhawk guys, do you want to come with me?”

Pat was surprised. He hadn’t realized that Matt knew anyone on the team yet. “Yeah, of course,” he said, smiling even though his heart felt a little tight. None of those guys had been talking to him recently, but if Matt was the lube that got them into grinding alright together, he’d do it.

~~~  
They showered and headed to dinner. It was more of bar scene that Pat would have liked, but Matt had assured him that his casual clothes were fine, which definitely proved true with the environment they walked into. It was a pub on the south-side of Chicago, and even in the evening it was full of people that didn’t seem to recognize Pat or Matt. Pat hesitated at the door, but he saw Matt smile at a couple people, and he followed the also inside.

It turned out Matt was meeting with Dylan and Alex. Pat almost bolted when he saw them, but he made eye contact with Stromer and figured he was in too deep.

“Hey man,” Alex said, bumping heads roughly with Matt in a wolf-type greeting. Matt laughed easily.

“It’s good to see you.” He greeted Dylan in a similar way and he and Stromer fell into easy conversation. Pat watched, intrigued. It’d been a while since he’d seen wolves outside his family interact. It was interesting to see the tactile and friendly way Matt brushed against Alex’s shoulder or the easy chuff he let out at Dylan’s jokes. It felt, oddly enough, like their own little pack. That Pat was unwelcome in.

Pat was shifting to make a run for the door when Alex caught his eye. “How are you?” the beta asked.

Pat met his eyes, feeling uncertain. “I’m alright,” he responded. He wasn’t sure how much he should give away.

“Yeah?” Alex asked. “You look a little stressed.”

“I just – this is all a little new to me.” Pat admitted.

“We could have all figured it out together,” Alex said quietly, and Pat felt Dylan’s eyes flicker over to him as well.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered.

Alex smiled, some of the tension gone, but the mistrust remaining. “We’ll figure it out.”

~~~

Matt took Pat home that night. Patrick thought about complaining, about telling Matt he was a sexist alpha, but in all honesty, after he saw the mistrusting look in Alex’s eyes, he’d gotten a lot drunker than he’d intended to and he didn’t trust himself to drive. By the time they arrived back at Pat’s apartment, Pat was overly drunk, and a little snarky from his lack of alpha contact in the last few months.

“Aren’t you going to come in?” he muttered. With most alphas, he’d never pull something like this. But Matt seemed almost alarmingly tolerant.

Matt looked at him with a too-genuine look. “Do you need me to get you upstairs?”

“Get out of the car,” Pat said, and the alpha did so.

Matt regarded him carefully. “I’ll walk you upstairs,” he decided, and took Pat’s hand. Pat resisted the urge to insist he wasn’t a child that needed to be almost carried to bed. His alpha’s touch felt good and he wanted it for as long as he could convince Matt to hold him.

When they reached Pat’s apartment, Matt turned to him. “Do you want me to come in?” he asked. “I can grab you some Ibuprofen and water, maybe some crackers –”

“I’m not a child,” Pat hissed, pulling his hands away. Matt backed-up.

“Of course, you aren’t.”

“I –” Pat pulled Matt towards him. He was such a strange alpha, Pat thought.

“You’re odd,” he told Matt.

Matt frowned. “Okay.”

Pat wanted to smack him. He’d never been around a more frustratingly nonresponsive alpha. He stepped forward, getting further into Matt’s space. The alpha smelled amazing.

“You should go inside,” Matt said, his voice deeper than before.

Pat lolled his neck to the side experimentally and Matt’s gaze deepened before flicking away.

“Do you want me?” Pat asked.

“What?” Matt responded, stupidly.

“Do you – ” Pat grabbed the alpha by the shoulders and pulled him against him. Pat kissed him deeply.

Initially, Matt froze. He hands were planted firmly on the wall behind Pat, instead of on his hips. That wouldn’t do. Pat took Matt’s hands and put them on his hips. Matt gradually unfroze and started to kiss the omega back.

Gently, Matt kissed Pat. Pat’s eyes had closed a long time ago, but he felt himself start to drift. Matt nipped Pat’s lower lip lightly, and when Pat gasped, Matt invaded him mouth. Fuck, Pat could feel the alpha all around him. Matt lifted him by his hips, and Pat wrapped his arms around the alpha.

For a second, the alpha pulled away from Pat’s mouth, and the omega whined. Matt kissed down his sensitive neck, licking and nipping on the way. Pat rolled his head further to the side, exposing more skin. He wanted Matt to nip him more, something that would last.

Matt continued his path down the omega’s neck sucking on his neck until he reached the spot that had his omega purring.

“Oh, Matt,” Pat gasped. “Please,” he gasped.

Matt’s mouth rested a centimeter above his mating gland. Just a little more and Matt would own the omega, beyond the ways he legally did already. Pat let his neck fall further to the side. It felt so right; it felt so good.

“I –” Pat gasped. “Please,” he begged.

Matt’s teeth ended up directly on top of Pat’s bond gland, and that was what finished the moment. Matt yanked back like he’d been electrocuted.

“I can’t,” he gasped. Pat whined. Why didn’t his alpha want him?

“Please,” he begged, “please, alpha.” The noise that was ripped out of Matt was pure wolf.

“I can’t,” he repeated. “I’m sorry, sweetheart,” and he fled.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Matt ends up at Patrick's doctor's appointment and talks with Johnny.

Patrick woke up the next morning to a loud buzzing in his ear. When he slapped at the source of the noise it ended and put his head back down on his pillow. It was only thirty seconds later when the source started vibrating again.

“What?” Patrick hissed into his phone.

“Good to hear from you too, Patrick,” the unnecessarily sarcastic voice of his youngest sister, Jackie said. “Glad you’re alive. I haven’t heard from you in three months, but I’m glad you’re fucking alive.”

Patrick had started to come-to during Jackie’s short rant. “Hey, Jax,” he said quietly, his mind becoming more and more aware. “What’s up?”

“What’s up?” his sister hissed. “You motherfucker –”

An hour and a lot of apologies later, Patrick had calmed Jackie down.

“I just worry about you,” she admitted. “And when you got mated and shit, and you didn’t answer my calls, what was I supposed to think?”

Patrick felt a pang of guilt. “I’m okay, Jackie,” he promised. “I’ve just been going through it with everything and… Matt.”

“Yeah?” Jackie pushed. “He’s super hot, Pat, of course you would end up with an alpha that looks like a Calvin Klein ad.”

Patrick blushed. “That’s not – he doesn’t –” But he couldn’t deny that, well, Matt did look like a Calvin Klein ad. _God, that jawline._ “He’s so young,” Patrick protested instead.

“Yeah, do you like that?” Jackie purred in his ear. “You like being some cradle-robbing omega?”

“Ew, fuck you.” Patrick hissed. He had been subliminally nervous about people telling him he was too old for Matt since he realized that the alpha was, well, _his _alpha.

“That’s okay,” Jackie said. “Maybe he likes them old and decrepit.”

Patrick seriously considered hanging up on her.

“Okay,” Jackie said after a beat. “But I do really like the guy. I watched all his interviews and everything and he looks super sweet.”

“That’s nice, Jackie,” Patrick said, “but this is a fucking mess. I never wanted an alpha and I’m not some omega bitch that’ll roll over at the first scent of an compatible alpha. I’ve spent years making sure this wouldn’t happen and now that it has doesn’t mean that I’ll accept it.”

“Omegas aren’t bitches,” Jackie mumbled and Patrick felt a pang of pain in his chest. Jackie was an omega, like him and unlike the rest of his sisters.

“I didn’t mean it like that, Jackie,” he promised. “You’re stronger and braver.”

“No, I’m not,” she whispered, and even with his enhanced hearing, Patrick could barely hear her. “I’m just like everyone else. But unlike you, I don’t think that’s wrong.”

“Jackie, hey,” he started, but she shut him down.

“I have to go, Pat,” she said. There was a long pause. “I know you’re a dick and all, but give Matt a chance, okay? I think he deserves it.”

Patrick tried to protest, tried to tell her that he himself was a moron about dynamics and that he’d literally plastered himself to the alpha the night before, begging for attention, and it meant nothing, but Jackie had hung up.

_Fuck_, he thought. _What a terrible start to the day. _

Patrick eventually dragged himself out of bed. He had a doctor’s appointment later in a couple hours and he didn’t want to be late. When he had hidden his omega status, he’d purchased suppressants and birth control illegally on the black market, but now that Matt had outed him, Patrick was excited to get birth control pills legally. He’d always been subconsciously worried about the harm the illegal pills did to his body, but without a doctor he couldn't ask; he’d never been about to find out the risks.

Patrick pulled up at the doctor’s appointment at 10 in the morning. It was a Thursday, and he'd woken up at 6AM;, he’d usually have gotten up later in the morning, but he’d been anxious about this for weeks.

At the front desk the beta woman smiles comfortingly and looked like she was about to stroke his hand reassuringly when he said his name, his voice uncomfortably high. Patrick yanked his hand back and the woman shifted awkwardly. “Patrick Kane?” she asked.

“Yes,” he replied.

“Right,” she said. “Why don’t you head straight into the waiting room? I’ve notified Dr. Ivan that you’re here.”

  
Patrick headed into the room and sat, leg bouncing in anticipation.

“Mr. Kane?” a nurse called shortly after and Patrick followed her.

“Please, sit on the table,” she said kindly. She handed him a gown. “The doctor will ask for a full exam given that you’ve never had a birth control,” she said, almost apologetically.

“Okay,” Patrick responded. He knew he got too excited at the idea of getting the pills legally. At least now the doctor would be able to give him a real exam and let him know if he had any concerns.

Ten minutes later a flustered alpha bustled into the room. “A… Mr. Kane, I see,” Dr. Ivan said, flipping though Patrick’s updated medical chart. “And you haven’t been to see a doctor about birth control… ever.” The doctor frowned, clearly looking at Matt’s mating mark on his neck. “You’re mated, Mr. Kane.”

Patrick stared at him. “Yeah, but I need birth control,” he protested, suddenly realizing that the doctor could refuse him the pills. “I have a job and I work and I’m not going to get knocked up any time soon, so I need birth control.” The doctor’s condescension grated on his nerves almost as much as the pressure of a disappointed alpha.

“I need confirmation from your alpha,” the doctor protested. “This is a highly unusual situation.”

Luckily, Matt had signed a permission form that Patrick had shoved at him about birth control. He proved it to Dr. Ivan.

The doctor barely looked at the document. “No,” he insisted. “I must get confirmation from your alpha directly.”

Patrick felt a wave of shame crush through him. He’d never had an alpha involved with his medical conditions before. “I can… call him,” he offered, he teeth clenched. He didn’t want to piss off the doctor more than necessary. He wanted his fucking pills.

“No,” Dr. Ivan insisted, “I need him to come to the appointment.”

“You’re serious,” Patrick hissed. He saw the doctor’s face. “I was barely able to get this appointment now, I don’t think I’ll be able to get another one any time soon.”

“Then I suggest you call your alpha now,” Dr. Ivan said. “My next patient is here, and I can see to her early. If your alpha is here shortly, I will be able to complete your prescription as well.”

Dr. Ivan left the room, leaving Patrick fuming. He wanted to throw a fit and literally throw things about the dumb asshole, but he knew he needed the pills and _his alpha_ to get him. With loathing, he dialed Matt’s number. _Fuck I hope he doesn’t mention last night_, Patrick prayed.

Matt picked up after only three rings. “Hey, Pat!” he said, his voice far too cheery. “You feeling alright after last night?”

Patrick blushed at the implication; he’d hoped Matt would forget or at least not mention the embarrassing debacle. Patrick had certainly never offered himself in such a slutty way to an alpha before, even under the influence of alcohol. He had no idea where his urge to tilt his neck back and let Matt devour one of the most vulnerable parts of him came from.

“Yeah, yeah, I feel fine,” Patrick assured Matt. “Hey, look. So my doctor won’t prescribe me birth control without you here, are you free and can you come to his office?”

“What?” Matt asked, and Patrick felt a wave of pressure rush through him. Matt’s voice shifted from friendly and kind to raging and alpha so quickly that he squirmed and felt himself getting wet at the idea of Matt raging over something so basic.

“I can text you the address, but it’s pretty time sensitive… is that okay?” Patrick whispered the last part, afraid Matt would say no. It wasn’t like he needed birth control, Patrick knew Matt could protest. They weren’t having sex, Patrick had no right to demand the pill. But he wasn’t sure and he wanted it none the less, and Matt had been so loathe to deny him anything, he hoped that Matt might concede him this as well.

“I’m free,” Matt said. “I’ll be right there, just text me the address.”

Less than twenty minutes later, Dr. Ivan was back in the room with a very lightly clothed Patrick and a very pissed off alpha.

“I’m so glad you could join us,” Dr. Ivan said, looking directly at Matt.

“Is there a reason you couldn’t give Pat his prescription without me?” Matt nudged himself into the doctor’s personal space and Patrick could see when the other alpha’s face shifted from comfortable to nervous.

“I thought it better that – ” Patrick grabbed Matt’s arm, forcing him back towards him. “Be nice,” he hissed and he felt Matt shift further behind him.

“I’m sorry,” the alpha whispered, gently rubbing his shoulder. “I’ll be better,” he promised.

With a comfortable space between the two alphas, Dr. Ivan obviously felt more comfortable. “Right! So,” he said, stepping up to the table that Patrick was laid back on. “Put your feet in the stirrups, omega.”

Matt snarled and Dr. Ivan changed his tone. “Um, please put your feet here.” He indicated the stirrups. Patrick wanted to throw a fit at Matt being over protective, but this was one of the most demeaning moments of his life. It felt good to have someone with him who was looking out for him.

“Please breathe,” the doctor said, keeping an eye on Matt as he eased the speculum inside Patrick. Patrick tried to suppress his gasp, but he failed. He clung to Matt’s hand.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked, his gaze fixed firmly on Patrick’s face.

“Yeah, I’m alright,” Patrick promised. Matt rubbed comfortingly over his knuckles.

“Alright,” Dr. Ivan said. “Everything looks alright here.”

Patrick looked up, ready to ask about suppressant, when he saw that the doctor’s focus was solely concentrated on his alpha. He looked back down, missing Matt’s expression.

“So, you can prescribe Patrick what he asked for?”

“Yes, I can, but I think I should highlight some potential issues,” Dr. Ivan was fixed on Matt’s face.

“I think those issues can be directed to the patient,” Matt hissed. His expression could melt steel.

Patrick took a deep breath. If the situation wasn’t so horrifying, Patrick would probably have laughed at the murder eyes Matt was shooting at the doctor. The alpha could give Johnny - Captain Serious - a run for his money. “I just need birth control and suppressant prescriptions,” he told the doctor.

“I can prescribe birth control, but allow me to warn you, suppressants for as long as you appear to have taken then can damage your reproductive health. I’d recommend against them. They don’t do much besides block your smell, and the negative affects are so much greater. Don’t you want babies?”

Matt let out a growl that indicated that someone was about to be murdered. “What I mean is,” Dr. Ivan reassessed, “suppressants are very dangerous for the omega body. For any patient, I’d recommend against them. I can still provide a prescription,” he glanced at Matt, “but I would never say that an omega your age should take them.”

“Thanks, doc,” Patrick said, shifting his legs out of the stirrups. “If you would just give me the prescriptions, I’ll be on my way.”

"I do want to highlight that with a bond like it appears you two have, you may experience volatile emotions. These pills will exacerbate those emotions/"

"What do you mean?" Matt asked.

"Have you experienced moments of extreme emotion that seemed unwarranted?" Dr. Ivan asked, and Pat blushed, thinking of the night before. The doctor looked at them both. "It's very typical, it's due to the lack of a completed bond. If you finish it, the emotions will do away."

  
"That won't be happening," Matt said. 

Dr. Ivan gave one last look at Matt, who still looked like he wanted to disembowel the doctor and nodded, clearly unwilling to fight with an alpha hockey player. “I’ll send your prescriptions to the pharmacy you listed on your information.” He scurried out of the room.

“Are you okay?” Matt asked after Dr. Ivan had left. “He seemed like a dick.”

Patrick smiled at him, still slightly nervous that the alpha would bring up the embarrassing events of the night before. “Yeah, it’s pretty typical, you know?”

“It shouldn’t be,” Matt said, looking at the ground.

“Yeah… I…”

There was a pause.

“I’m going to take both pills,” Patrick said.

“Yeah?” Matt asked, clearly confused. “Of course you are… I didn’t think this was a discussion.”

“No, I mean,” Patrick wanted Matt to understand. “Dr. Ivan said that the suppressants could damage my fertility. I’m still going to take them. You can’t stop me.”

For a second, Patrick could swear that Matt looked hurt. Sometimes he forgot just how young the alpha was. Fuck, Patrick might be thirty-one, but Matt was nine years younger than him. What had Patrick known at twenty-two?

“Of course you are, I’d never stop you.” They stared at each other.

Pat looked down, avoiding Matt’s eyes. The alpha was gently rubbing his forearm. It was an ostentatiously non-sexual part of his body, but... _Fuck,_ Pat thought, staring at where Matt was touching him, _The man has sexy hands._

“Right, so I’m going to go…” Matt said, pulling his hands away and edging towards the door. “Let me know if anymore assholes won’t give you what you need and I’ll be there,” and with that Patrick’s alpha was gone.

Patrick stared at the door longer than he should have. Matt was an enigma to him. An aggressively in control, powerful alpha one moment, a fleety twenty-two year old incapable of expressing his feelings the next. _What were they both doing?_

~~~

“Thanks for meeting me,” the bar was far more sophisticated that Matt was used to and he felt far too out of his element. _Pat would never make me meet him somewhere like this,_ he thought and then crushed the idea. He couldn’t patronize or idealize the omega, that was the whole problem. He was nothing to Patrick and Patrick was nothing to him. He needed to be better at keeping his emotions under wraps.

“Yeah,” Matt said, finally making eye contact with Johnny. “No problem, man. I appreciate you sticking around in Chicago to talk with me.” The alpha and the Blackhawks captain stared at each other.

“Yeah… so… I guess I don’t really know where to start,” Johnny said. “Look, Pat’s really great, and I know you’re probably super upset that he lied about being an omega, but like that’s not something I or really non-wolves in general would really say is punishable, so you should really go easy on him and all and –”

“Whoa,” Matt stopped Johnny’s word vomit there. “I know Patrick didn’t deserve to be outed like that.” He paused. He wasn’t sure how much info he wanted to share with Johnny. “Mating is… difficult. It’s not super voluntary, on either side. On the alpha’s side, you just kind of smell someone and they smell so perfect, and then you bite them, and then you deal with it, you know?”

Johnny looked at him blankly and Matt reevaluated. “Alphas and omegas that are ‘soulmates’ or whatever you want to call us don’t have any self determination until after you claim. Once you bite, you’re able to take a step back and see what you did. Until then, you can't. I know how horrifying this must all look for you, fuck, I was born human, okay? Just know that I know this is all super fucked up.”

“You were born human?” Johnny asked.

“Yeah, yeah,” Matt said, “I think Pat was born a wolf, but I was actually bit at fifteen. It was bit a of transition period,” he laughed, “but I swear I have a handle on it. You don’t have to worry about me.”

“And Pat…”

“I won’t hurt him, Johnny,” Matt promised. “I’ll do anything in this world not to hurt him."

Matt saw the conflict in Johnny’s face and he wanted to sit there all day and answer all of his new captain’s questions. Their drinks arrived, and Matt took a big sip of beer.

“Did you have any other questions?”

“Yeah, I…” Johnny trailed off, but Matt waited.

“Is there anything the team needs to do differently, now that it’s public knowledge that there are wolves on the team?”

“Yeah,” Matt responded. This was an easy question, and as an alpha, he’d already started planning for this. “Whenever the team travels, I’ll get in contact with anyone on the local team who’s a wolf. It’s not a big deal, but I have to take the team wolves to dinner if we’re invited. It’s lowkey, I promise. All the other teams already do it, so it won’t mess with schedules or anything else you’re thinking about.”

“I don’t think any of the Blackhawks guys did that before,” Johnny said, worrying his lip with his teeth.

“Yeah,” Matt blushed and didn’t meet Johnny’s eyes. “They didn’t have to before. There wasn’t an alpha in the Blackhawks.”

“Oh, so you’re complicating everything.”

Matt blushed deeper. “Guilty.”

“So do I need to be there?” Johnny asked, his eyes intent, like they were in a game.

“No, it’s better that you’re not. Just with you being human, I think it would be a lost easier if you weren’t. I’ll handle the wolf stuff for the team, you don’t need to worry about that.

“Yeah,” Johnny said. “And about Pat…”

He trailed off and Matt said nothing. “Pat’s a little difficult. He’s not as mean as he seems and he’s really easier going than he seems and –”

Matt interrupted him there. “Hey, I know he’s not mean,” he said gently. “I know he’s been through a lot, and you know I wouldn’t hurt him, right?”

Johnny didn’t look at Matt.

“Look,” Matt continued, “I know humans get exposed to a lot of material about alphas abusing omegas and all that shit, but I wouldn't do that. You don’t have to worry about him, and you don’t have to worry about me hurting him, okay?”

Johnny nodded at Matt, and the alpha smiled. “Glad to convince you I’m not abusive.”

Johnny protested. “That’s not what I –”

“Stop,” Matt said. “A lot of alphas are, you’re not in the wrong for thinking that it could be a possibility.”

He held his hand out to Johnny. “To being friends through all of this?”

Johnny shook his hand. “To friends.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Who does everyone want to be a wolf on the Blackhawks? I have three people in mind already, but I'd love to hear ideas! 
> 
> Also, what's everyone's thoughts on alpha/omega spanking (non-sexually?)? It'll come up in the next chapter (in a very lite way), but I want to hear what people think before I set the tone. I've mapped out all the chapters now, so I know the rest of the story and I want to see how to craft an event later in the story.
> 
> Let me know your thoughts! (and any tags you think I should add, as always!)


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summer comes to an end and the team is back in Chicago. Everyone learns to deal with an alpha on the team and frustrations come to a head, on multiple fronts.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's a *tiny* (and I do mean TINY) bit of spanking in this chapter, so please skip if that bothers you!! Also Matt is rough with Patrick, so please be aware of that as well.

Patrick was nervous to get back into training camp. The rest of the summer after Matt arrived had been a blur; he’d seen a couple teammates, notably not Johnny, and barely even spoken to Matt after his awkward doctor’s appointment. When Patrick felt the pull between them too strongly, he’d shoot Matt a text and the alpha would drop an article of clothing off outside his door. Patrick wasn’t sure how Matt was coping – he’d certainly never asked for any apparel in return. Patrick preferred not to think of the implication of that. _Maybe he was coping with someone else._

Training camp started in late August. It felt just as uncomfortable to be back in the locker room, surrounded by his teammates, as it had been in the spring when they found out he was an omega. It was what Patrick had always feared – that the second anyone knew he was an omega, they’d think that he was lesser, that he was incapable of handling himself, let alone a puck.

His first time back in the locker room, he saw his locker had been moved to be next to Matt’s. The alpha shot him an apologetic look – he was already at the rink when Patrick got there, and judging from how sweaty he looked, he’d been working out there for a while.

“Sorry,” Matt said. “I asked management not to change anything for you – I was just going to go ask them to switch you back.”

“Don’t,” Patrick said. It wasn’t that he wanted to be next to Matt, it was that he didn’t want to be seen as problematic. He could handle a new locker. Patrick wasn’t Sidney fucking Crosby, and he wasn’t unhealthily superstitious. He couldn’t be the omega causing issues; he needed to be okay with this.

“Are you sure?” Matt certainly didn’t look sure.

“Yeah,” Patrick said, and the alpha let the topic drop.

It was easier on the ice. Matt took the center position on the second line, and Patrick was on his wing. Patrick almost wanted to protest – but he couldn’t deny that it was working.

Patrick never doubted that Matt was a great player. The alpha got the Calder his rookie season and put up the most points for his team in New York. But, Patrick never realized how good they’d be together.

They slid puck after puck past Crawford, and especially with Alex on Matt’s other wing, Patrick felt unstoppable.

Colliton waved the three of them over at the end of the day. “Great work,” he said, gaze focused on Matt. “Keep going like that, and we might switch our first and second line.”

Matt turned and smiled at Patrick, almost blindingly. Unable to stop himself, Patrick smiled back.

The team seemed in higher spirits back in the locker room.

“Keep going like that and we might make it outta last place, eh?” Seabs snarked, slapping Alex on the back.

Alex smiled back, clearly excited.

“We might take your first line spot if you don’t step up your game!” It was a light chirp, but Seabs didn’t look happy about it.

“You might have missed it, but we won three Stanley Cups before you all got out of Peewees.”

“I don’t know,” Alex refused to back down, “I might be young, but Matt’s an alpha. Piss him off and he might eat you. Didn’t anyone ever teach you about wolves?”

Patrick knew that Alex meant it as a joke, but Alex was born a wolf and he didn’t understand the fear of wolves that most humans had. The air in the room changed, and for once, Patrick smelled the scent of fear from his teammates.

“I – ” Seabs stepped back. “I didn’t –” Several other teammates had gone quiet.

Matt spoke up. “Hey,” he stepped towards Seabs, voice light, shoulders relaxed, clearly trying to not be a threat. “I don’t eat people,” he promised. “Alphas don’t do that shit.” Seabs looked up, relaxing slightly. “Plus,” Matt added, “I’m a vegetarian. You’d majorly fuck up my diet.”

Seabs laughed and the air in the room returned to normal.

Patrick glanced at Johnny and saw him relax slightly at Matt’s comments. Tension dispersed, Johnny started to leave the locker room. _Since when is Johnny the first person out of here? _Patrick wondered.

He rushed to throw the rest of his things into his duffel and chased after the captain. Patrick caught Johnny just as he was getting into his Tesla.

“Johnny!”

Johnny stopped and turned towards him. “What do you want, Patrick?” _Patrick? _Patrick thought. _When the literal fuck have you ever called me Patrick?_

“I just wanted to talk to you,” he said lamely.

“Okay,” Johnny stood still, halfway into his car.

Patrick didn’t know what to say. “I miss you.” That didn’t really cover what he was feeling.

“You miss me?” Johnny’s face twisted, and he saw for the first time, the cold, dead eyes that for the last ten years, Johnny had directed at everyone except him.

“Yeah,” he whispered.

“Then why didn’t you tell me any of this shit?”

“I… about being an omega?”

“Yes.”

Patrick glowered at Johnny. “You think just because you’re my captain that I owe you information like that?”

Johnny’s face was set, but Patrick knew him too well. His eyes were devastated. “Your captain? Patrick, I thought I was your friend.”

Patrick froze, staring at Johnny.

“That’s what I thought.” Johnny got in his car.

“No, wait,” Patrick said, trying to stop him. Johnny drove off. Patrick stayed frozen in place.

“Are you okay?” Matt found Patrick in the parking lot a couple minutes later.

“Get away from me,” the omega seethed. “This is all your fault, you ruined everything.”

“Hey, what happened,” Matt reached out for him, rubbing a thumb gently over the back of Patrick’s neck. “It’s okay, just tell me what’s wrong.”

Patrick felt a rush of calm coming from the spot where Matt put his hand. It was right next to his mating mark. If Patrick just turned his head a little, Matt's hand would graze it. Patrick wanted to relax into the alpha. He wanted Matt to hold him and take care of his problems, to make everything alright, okay, to make Johnny talk to him again. Instead Patrick shoved Matt’s hand away. “Don’t touch me.”

“Patrick,” Matt called as the omega rushed away. “Please talk to me.” But Patrick didn’t want to – no, he couldn’t, he couldn’t talk to Matt. Because Matt would never understand.

~~~

Matt was seething under the surface. He tried to hide it as he knew that it agitated Alex and Dylan – the other wolves were extremely in tune with his emotions and they caught on to his irritation. Matt knew the wolves thought that Patrick had done something. He saw how they reacted around Patrick, pushing him away and avoiding speaking directly to him. Matt wanted to scream that it wasn’t Patrick that had fucked up – it was him. When he’d seen his – the – omega in the parking garage in such distress, his only instinct had been to comfort, to tell his mate that everything was okay. _What a terrible idea. _

Patrick had recoiled from his touch and from him. And Patrick wasn’t his. _Of course he reacted like that. _Matt had tried everything to get the idea that _Patrick wasn’t fucking his _through his stupid alpha brain. They were soulmates, sure. But fated-to-be didn’t mean meant-to-be and certainly didn’t mean want-to-be. Patrick didn’t want him, and even though he’d marked the omega when they met, he would never force anything else onto the omega. Marking was instinctual - there was no way around it. Everything else he could will himself out of. He’d fucked everything up and he had no right to be demanding that Patrick come to him for comfort.

Matt had been good all summer. Even during the incident with Patrick’s doctor where Matt had wanted to tear the asshole’s head off, he hadn’t. He’d barely seen Patrick beyond that, but he’d managed to avoid the urge to go to the omega. He hadn’t checked on him more than dropping off clothing when Patrick asked.

_Goddamn it, Matt was an alpha, he was supposed to be the fucking epitome of control!_

They made it through the rest of training camp without incident, thank God. Well, except one incident where Johnny tracked him down after practice.

“Why is your contract only three years?” the captain asked, getting far to close to Matt’s face, if his alpha side had anything to say about it.

“That was what my agent suggested,” Matt said, trying to stay calm.

“You’re lying,” Johnny said, fixing him with his scarily dead eyes.

“No, I’m not," Matt snarled, getting in Johnny's face. Johnny backed of instantly, smelling afraid.

"I'm sorry!" Matt said, "I'm so sorry."

Johnny left, barely taking his eyes off Matt until he was around the corner. _Fucking hormones. _Not claiming Patrick had him fucked in the head and struggling to control his instincts like a teenager. He had to figure this shit out, and fast. 

Besides that uncomfortable conversation, the season started off well. The Blackhawks won their first game, 2-1 against the Blues at home and won their second in overtime against the Flames, 4-3 in Calgary.

Even Matt’s line with Patrick and Alex was working exceptionally well together, despite Patrick refusing to make eye-contact with Matt. _Well, _Matt figured, _we’ll have to talk about it eventually._

~~~

Their fifth game of the season, a rough overtime loss back in Chicago, the conflict between the alpha and omega came to a head.

Patrick was coming back from the shower when he heard Seabs sidle up to Alex.

“Hey man,” Seabs said. “A couple guys were thinking of going out tonight, something light but fun. Been a while since we were all in Chicago, and it’ll be nice to get some of the new guys.”

“Yeah, man,” Alex replied easily, “sounds fun!”

Patrick turned to Seabs, expecting the invite next, but his teammate brushed past him. It’d been a while since he’d gone out with the team. It wasn’t his favorite thing, but maybe it would be good for him. He’d certainly like to be invited.

“I’ll go, Seabs,” Patrick threw out. Seabs stopped and turned towards him.

  
“Yeah, maybe not tonight, man,” Seabs tried to smile, but mostly looked constipated. “Definitely next time though!”

“What?” Patrick was confused. “I can come tonight…”

Johnny walked up to Seabs. It was the first time that he’d looked at Patrick since their fight in the parking lot weeks ago.

“Matt said no, Peeks. Maybe next time.” The locker room was silent. Matt himself chose that second to reappear from the showers.

He clearly sensed the tension in the room, glancing from face to face, but when no one spoke, he walked to his locker and started to get dressed. Patrick was so shocked that Matt had his pants on by the time Patrick reacted to what he had just heard from Johnny. He got in the alpha’s face.

“You think you can speak for me?” he hissed.

“What?” Matt asked, pulling a t-shirt on. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Like hell you don’t,” Patrick replied, getting in his face. He noticed Johnny encouraging people to pack and leave in the background.

“I fucking don’t Pat,” Matt said. “Why don’t you enlighten me?” He looked irritated, but no where near as upset as Patrick was.

“Listen here, you entitled alpha-asshole,” Patrick stepped even closer. “You don’t ever get to tell anyone –” Patrick shoved at Matt’s chest harder than he’d intended in that moment. The alpha fell back, smacking his head roughly into the locker, a look of surprise on his face.

Patrick stepped back. _Fuck, he’d shoved his alpha. He could have hurt his alpha._ “Matt – ” he gasped, “I didn't mean to - ”

Matt opened his eyes and they were blazing red. Patrick stepped back again. “Matt –” Matt snarled at him and the three people still in the locker room froze. Swiftly, the alpha grabbed his duffel bag. "Grab your stuff, Pat, now," he said, turning his face away. 

"Matt," Patrick tried to backtrack. "I didn't mean to, I'm sorry." 

  
Matt growled, low enough that only Patrick could hear him. "Not here," he said, shaking his head slightly as he tried to regain control. The omega saw his alpha's eyes and they were still blazing red. It was best to just obey, he figured.

Patrick grabbed his bag and Matt put his hand on his back, directing him swiftly out of the locker room. 

“Hey, Matt, he didn’t mean to,” Johnny stepped into Matt’s space, trying to slow down the alpha.

“Get out of my way,” Matt hissed, and Johnny, clearly unsure of the best approach, did just that.

Matt directed Patrick down the hallway towards the parking garage. When they reached the parking lot, Matt nudged Patrick towards a unexpectedly typical looking Audi.

“Get in the car, Patrick,” Matt said. Matt had never used an Alpha command on Patrick below. The wave of Matt’s command washed over Patrick and he shuddered. He had never felt truly scared around Matt before, but that was just because Matt had lulled him into a false sense of security with his “I’m not like other alphas” act. This was the real Matt, finally brought out when Patrick had pushed him too far. After all, Matt was his mate and he could force him to do anything with that voice. Patrick shook.

Matt’s face softened for a second. “Please get into the car.” Patrick did, but he refused to look at Matt in the eyes.

Matt drove at a concerning speed, but Patrick was willing to bet that had more to do with him being a twenty-two-year-old boy, not a pissed off alpha. Eventually, they stopped a little outside the city in front of a row of townhouses.

_Where the fuck are we?_ Patrick wondered, getting out of the car.

Matt walked up to a red brick townhouse, pulled out some keys, and unlocked the front door. “Come in,” he gestured for Patrick to go in first.

The omega walked in, realizing for the first time that this must be Matt’s place. It was shocking – most newly signed NHL players rented or purchased lavish apartments in the center of town in new, hip buildings. The townhouse looked scarily domestic and homey. It was the kind of place a family lived. Patrick walked in and took off his shoes. He walked further into the building and saw the kitchen and living room. He imaged there a backyard behind the large glass doors at the back of the living room. He could imagine the place full of a happy family, full of children. Patrick bit his lip. It was everything he wanted his sterile and impersonal apartment to be, and everything he never let it be.

Patrick turned back towards Matt. The alpha's eyes were no longer red. He watched as Matt took a couple deep breaths, rolling his neck and clenching his hands oddly before releasing them. It looked it some form of forced relaxation, which Patrick was all for in this situation.

“Do you want anything to drink?” Matt asked. The alpha’s voice sounded calmer. Patrick imagined that part of that was the effect of being safe in his territory.

“I’m okay,” he whispered, settling uncomfortably into a bar chair.

Matt returned to him, sitting in one of the other chairs. He had two Gatorades, one green and one blue. Blue was Patrick’s favorite. Matt slid the blue slightly towards him. “In case you change your mind,” he said.

Patrick nodded, unsure of what to say. He watched Matt. The alpha’s face was relaxing the longer they were in the house. “I – we have to talk about things, Pat,” Matt said.

“Talk about why you said that I couldn’t spend time with the team?” Sure, Patrick was a little scared of Matt, but that hadn’t diminished his anger.

“Yeah, let’s talk about that. What do you think I said?”

Patrick looked at Matt like he was an idiot. “You told Seabs I couldn’t go out with the team tonight.”

Matt flushed. He took a sip of Gatorade. “I’m sorry,” he said. “That’s not what I said. Seabs asked if I wanted to go out when you were in the shower, and I was tired and angry since we lost, and I said that I didn’t want to go out.”

“You didn’t say anything about me?”

“No, no, I swear I didn’t. Pat – the team is clearly struggling with what the whole ‘soulmates’ thing means.” The word hung heavily in the air. Patrick and Matt had never said it out loud before, at least to each other. “Look, this is clearly new territory for everyone. I’ll talk to them and make sure that everyone understands that just because I say something, it doesn’t reflect you. But I need you to be patient and communicate with me, okay? I don’t really know what I’m doing here, either. And when you do things like yell in my face and shove me into a locker, it just makes me lose control. I know that isn’t fair, but it’s true, so we have to find a way to make this work. We’re scaring the team. You have to talk to me when something like happens, because I promise you, it’s going to be a miscommunication.”

Patrick flushed. Matt was a decade younger than him, but infinitely more mature in this moment. He nodded, not wanting to make eye contact. But the more he thought about it, the more he knew he needed to actually reply. “I understand, Matt. I got worked up and – I’m sorry. I’ll talk to you in the future.”

Matt smiled at him. God, Patrick hated how blindingly handsome the alpha was. “Good,” Matt said, “I’m glad.”

Patrick cracked open the Gatorade, taking a few sips. “Is your head okay?”

Matt nodded, “yeah, you surprised me more than anything.”

There was a pause. “So…” _What the fuck was Matt weighting for?_ “Do you want me on the couch or where…” he trailed off. Matt looked at him clearly lost.

“Do you want to sit on the couch?”

“No,” Patrick flushed. He hated talking about this shit. It was humiliating. But he was an omega and Matt was an alpha. Patrick knew he was going to be punished, and he’d prefer to have it out now instead of in front of the team.

“Like… where do you want to punish me?”

Matt looked at him like he grew a second head. “Punish you?”

Patrick shifted, clutching at his Gatorade. “Yeah, I think it might be hard to lay over your knee here, but I could probably on the couch?” he offered.

Matt’s face cleared. _Fucking finally, _Patrick thought.

“I’m not going to spank you, Pat.”

_What the fuck?_

“Um, why not?” Patrick had never heard of an alpha not punishing his omega for behavior like he’d just displayed. Fuck, Patrick had _shoved his alpha_. In some packs that warranted public beating.

“We talked it out, I think we’re good. Unless you’re planning on doing that again, then we can talk through things more…”

“No,” Patrick promised swiftly.

“Okay, so, then I don’t see any reason we need to keep going over this.”

Patrick almost wanted to push him. Every omega he knew that had an alpha had been spanked at one time or another. It wasn’t at all that he wanted it – he just expected it.

“You’re just – you’re an alpha.” Patrick argued. “That’s what alphas do.”

Matt’s face looked conflicted. “Do you… do you want me to spank you?” he asked.

Patrick gaped at the alpha. _What kind of a question was that? _He thought Matt was tolerant before, with not forcing sex and signing off on Patrick’s apartment and pills, but his was beyond what he expected. He must have stared at the alpha too long, because Matt reached out, reeling Patrick towards him and over his lap.

“I can, if that’s what you need,” Matt said quietly. He didn’t sound happy about it. Matt landed two spanks before Patrick squirmed out of his grip.

“I – no!” Patrick said, putting the breakfast bar between them. “No, I don’t need it.”

Matt’s face relaxed. “Okay.”

There was a strange pause. “So… can I go now?” Patrick asked.

Matt shifted from relaxed to apologetic. “I’m sorry,” he rushed out, “I’m having hormone," Matt waved his hand around, "...things from today. I need you to sleep in my bed.”

Patrick stiffened. “I don’t want to sleep with you.”

Matt nodded, “that’s totally fine, I’ll sleep in the guest bedroom. I’m just worked up, and I need you here tonight.”

Patrick considered arguing, but he figured no punishment and sleeping in an alpha's bed alone was a far better option than a spanking and getting to go home to his apartment the same night. “Sure,” he said.

Matt smiled again. “I’m heading to bed, let me show you the room.”

Patrick followed Matt up the stairs. The townhouse wasn’t very large overall, upstairs was just a master and a guest bedroom, each with a bathroom.

“Here’s mine,” Matt said, pulling a door open. “Let me brush my teeth and I’ll grab some PJs and be out of your way.”

Patrick nodded at sat on the edge of the bed as Matt did just that. “Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Matt said on his way out. “If you want to sleep in something else, feel free to grab anything out of the closet.”

Once Matt was gone, Patrick let himself take stock of the room. It was simply decorated, a few framed hockey pictures on the wall of Gretzky and Gordie Howe. He remembered some interview where Matt had said Gordie Howe was his favorite player. There were personal pictures on the dresser, though most of them featured people other than Matt as their focus. There was one with a bunch of people that looked similar to Matt - his family, Patrick assumed. One was with a bunch of random guys. He didn't think any of them were hockey players. Patrick stood up and picked up a picture of the Islanders 2020 team. It hit Patrick that Matt might be lonely here in Chicago, a city he’d come to for his mate, without knowing a soul, only to be isolated and hated on by his omega. Patrick felt a rush of sympathy that he forced himself to suppress._ Matt had forced this mating on them both when he claimed Pat at the All-Star Game_. 

_Alphas can't control claiming for soulmates_, the devil in the back of Patrick's head said, but he ignored it.

Patrick found an extra toothbrush under Matt’s sink, washed his face, and took a second to marvel at Matt’s lack of hair products. It wasn’t fair that a man with such impeccable hair did nothing to it.

Patrick shuffled through Matt’s closet, looking for sweatpants. He pulled out an old Islanders branded pair, with a #13 on them. Patrick liked the way they smelled. _No one will know if you wear them just tonight, _he promised himself.

Patrick pulled off his other clothes and pulled the sweatpants on. He climbed into the bed that smelled powerfully of his alpha. He wrapped his arms around a pillow that smelled especially of Matt. _It was okay to indulge his omega, just tonight_, he thought. _I never sleep well when I’m away from home away, maybe it will help._

Patrick drifted off shortly afterwards, dreaming of a life where he went to bed wrapped around an alpha that smelled like ice and rosemary, not just a pillow.


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Uuuuf, been a while! Sorry about that. As always, let me know if there's anything I missed tagging. Shouldn't be much here - this is more of a segue chapter, but just let me know.

Pat woke up peacefully. He’d been living in an apartment for so long, it felt amazing to wake up in a place where he could see trees and hear birds. Patrick glanced at his phone. It was 6:30AM. Matt probably wasn’t awake yet – and Patrick figured the alpha would be irritated if he headed home before they were both awake. 

Patrick laid in bed a while longer, smelling Matt’s sheets and purring lightly, knowing that Matt couldn’t hear him, before he got out of bed. He wanted the chance to explore Matt’s townhouse a little more – after all, he still thought it was weird that a twenty-two-year-old had chosen to rent an actual home instead of an apartment. It was probably a wolf thing, but it felt odd none the less. 

Patrick wandered downstairs, trying to be as quiet as possible. The main room off the staircase was a kitchen. It was full of light and there were French doors at the back that let the sun shine in. The backyard was simple, but well maintained. 

Pat knew to the left was the family room with the TV and the entry way, but he hadn’t seen to the right yet. He glanced upstairs, knowing that Matt could wake up at any point and get irritable about Pat snooping around his home. No noise came from above. He probably had another hour or so anyway, it was exceptionally early. 

Patrick eased the door to the room off the kitchen open slowly. It certainly wasn’t was he had anticipated. Matt had a bit of a frat-boy vibe to him, probably owing to how young he was, and a room like the one Pat had just entered didn’t align with that. It was a library, with floor to ceiling bookshelves. The shelves weren’t full, but there was a study desk laiden with books that looked out onto a window into the garden.

The omega approached the desk. Open books were scattered all over it, and as he got closer, Pat saw scribbling in the margins and notepads on the desk. He picked one up carefully. 

Need to stabilize hormones, the notepad read. Stabilized hormones let bonding be postponed.

What the fuck is Matt doing, Pat thought. He leafed through some more of the books. There were unexpected scripts – old, barely legible books.  
On Soulmate bonds  
Unloving  
To break the sacred bond

Fuck, Patrick thought, he’s trying to find a way to break the bond.

“Hey,” a quiet voice said from the doorway. Pat spun around. 

“Hey,” he said, “I didn’t mean to sneak around, I swear, I – ”

“It’s fine,” Matt said. He looked genuinely unbothered by Pat seeking into his office. “I wanted to talk to you about this before, but I guess I’m glad you found all of this and now I don’t have a choice.”

Matt hesitated, clearly unsure of what to say next.

“Are you trying to find a way to break the bond?” Patrick prompted.

Matt smiled gently at him. Patrick hated how handsome he was. “Yeah, I am.”

They looked at each other.

“I didn’t want to get your hopes up, Pat,” Matt said gently. “I know you don’t want this – I know you don’t want me. And we are partially mated, but we didn’t finish it, you know? I thought I might be able to figure out a way to break what I started. Or maybe pause it.”

Patrick wasn’t sure what to say. It was a pretty taboo topic among wolves, breaking bonds. He hadn’t even realized that Matt wanted to do it. Matt had been the one to claim him initially, anyway, by biting him. 

“I’m sorry, Pat, I wish I had something more concrete for you. But for now, I don’t know if I can break what we have.” Matt looked so apologetic that Patrick wanted to hug him. But Pat knew that he couldn’t and that that would defeat the point. 

“Thanks,” he said lamely. “You’ll let me know if you figure it out, right?” That’s so stupid, Patrick thought, obviously he’ll let me know. He’s trying to get rid of me just as much as I’m trying to get rid of him. 

“Yes,” Matt said kindly. 

“That’s why you signed a three year contract,” Pat realized.

“Sorry,” Matt said. “They wouldn’t give me anything under three years. Management got pretty pissy once I made it clear I wouldn’t do a six or seven year deal so I wasn’t even sure this one would go through.”

“Johnny was talking about it,” Pat said more to himself than to Matt. He didn’t know how to feel. Pat had thought Matt signed a short deal so he could renegotiate a better one later – but in retrospect that didn’t make sense. The man was a Calder winner, a high point scorer. He didn’t need negotiating power. He just needed to pick a team. Pat didn’t know how he felt about that. 

“Yeah,” Matt replied. “I didn’t tell anyone else why I took a short deal. I didn’t think it was fair to you. You can tell them though, I don’t mind. I just wanted you to know first.”

“Okay.” 

They paused.

“We should probably talk about yesterday,” Matt said, not meeting Pat’s eyes. 

Patrick flinched. “What did you want to talk about?”

“My alpha voice,” Matt said. “I – I don’t really use it.” He flushed and looked down. “I’m so sorry, Pat, I never should have forced you into the car.”

“Can you promise you won’t do it again?” Pat asked.

“Yes, of course,” Matt looked relieved. 

“Okay.” 

An awkward silence settled over the two of them.

“Breakfast?” Matt asked, after a few moments, and Pat was quick to agree. Matt fried some eggs and bacon as Pat puttered around with the toaster. 

There was a loud noise at Matt’s front door, and it flew open. 

“Hey, man!” Dylan and Alex flew in. “How are you?” Dylan was beaming at the alpha, while Alex at least at the decency to look a little embarrassed at the gusto with which they charged Matt’s house.

“Do you leave your front door unlocked?” Pat asked, a little scandalized at the thought.

Matt laughed. “No, they just have keys and refuse to knock.” 

“Hey, Kaner!” Alex said, clearly excited to see the omega. “Are you coming running with us?”

“Running?” Patrick asked, looking at Matt.

“Yeah, we’ve been running together, it’s good for getting to know each other as wolves and stuff,” Matt said. “You’re welcome if you want – but you don’t have to.”

“I have plans,” Patrick said quickly, though he saw the disappointment in Matt’s eyes. 

“Sure,” the alpha said. “I can call you an Uber home.”

“I got it,” Patrick conceded. They finished breakfast with the other wolves, and Pat ran upstairs to grab his clothes before heading out of the apartment. 

“Let me know if you need anything, okay?” Matt said, sounding a little too sincere. 

“I’ll make it home, I promise,” Pat responded, trying to joke, but not coming out so. 

“Bye!” Dylan yelled from the kitchen, his mouth full of food.

“Bye,” Matt said, with a much gentler tone. 

***

Pat’s apartment was as lonely as he left it. The stark grays and whites felt like a polar opposite of Matt’s comfortable and cozy townhouse. He wanted to go back. He wanted to crawl back into the alpha’s comforting-smelling bed and sleep for a decade. Patrick forced himself back into his own home. 

He drank some water and wrapped his arms around himself. It felt cold inside. Matt’s place had felt warmer. Patrick grabbed a water bottle and wandered off into his bed room. He’d get some sleep and everything would be okay. Once he got some sleep, he’d forget about his alpha, and the way Matt smelled, and the way Matt smiled, and laughed, and… 

Pat really needed to pop some sleeping pills, knock himself out, and stop thinking.

**Author's Note:**

> Next chapter - more background on pack law and what it means to be a wolf. A focus on territory laws and why you should actually obey them.


End file.
